To work or not to work…..

That is the question that I am sure a lot of mums, and dads, out there are asking themselves on a regular basis. When my older sister was born my mum stopped working, this wasn’t 100% her choice but she was more than happy to give up her career for he children, and she didn’t go back to work until we were in high school and our situation at home meant that she had to go out and find work.

Every day I came home from school (up until we were about 12) my mum was at home waiting with a cup of tea and a biscuit. This made me feel I was the very centre of her universe, whichI guess we kind of were. I am very grateful for this and even though we weren’t well off, I would not have swapped this for having a bit more money to buy nicer clothes and have holidays abroad.

Because of this I see having a stay at home mum is the right way to bring up children. No let me rephrase, as my ideal way to bring up children. Apologies, I do not mean to give the impression that I think it is wrong for mums with kids to go back to work, I say well done to them, it’s hard, I know because I’m doing it as well. I just mean that I personally would like to do it the same way as my parents did it.

However, because I went back to work part time, my husband has been able to have every Monday off to look after Elisabeth. He loves his daddy day and I am delighted that he gets this time with her without having me around. And spending one day a week with my mother in law is something that Elisabeth really enjoys. Which just leaves the worst day of the week, nursery day – yuk!

We have been having some problems at nursery, Elisabeth came home with really bad nappy rash because they hadn’t noticed her dirty nappy even though she was screaming because she was in so much pain, and we are thinking of changing to a child minder (a friend of a friend). I would love to hear anyone who has experience with child minders and whether they prefer it to nurseries or not.

Anyway, to answer the question to work or not to work, if it was just up to me, NOT TO WORK (which in my case means leave employment but become a freelance writer so I can work from home, so I won’t just be lazing on the sofa:-)) without a doubt. But as in our current financial situation this means that we would have to cancel daddy day………I guess I will just have to man up, get over it and go to work. Who knows, maybe in 30 years time Elisabeth will blog about how she loved having a day alone with her dad and how she wouldn’t have changed it for the world. Let’s hope so.

 

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3 thoughts on “To work or not to work…..

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  1. I find that the topic of whether to go back to work is quite a controversial one and I have found from experience that even in these modern times if you are a stay at home mum you are often considered a kept woman. The truth is being a mum is the most underpaid job (or in fact none paying) in the world. Being a mum is hard and exhausting and is often confused with going out for lunch and spending all day shopping. My son is two and a half and I have been a stay at home mum since he came into our lives which I in no way regret but I feel ready now to return to work – part time.

    I always say to people if you have to work don’t feel guilty, if you want to work don’t feel guilty and if you want to stay at home don’t feel guilty. At the end of the day it is no ones business but yours and your families.

    As for the nursery situation that is disgraceful. I have no experience of childminders but I hope you get your situation sorted out.

    Great blog. All the best.

    1. Thank you so much for your comment. You’re right, being a mum is exhausting and really hard but I love it.
      It’s great that you’ve been able to be with your son when it mattered most, hope you get on ok with going back to work.
      Elisabeth has not been back to that awful nursery and is having a great time at her childminder. She is so much happier.
      I try not to feel guilty when I go to work, and I’m lucky I only work 3 days a week.
      Look forward to reading more of your blog.

      Take care
      Elske

  2. It’s a difficult issue for many women. My mom stayed home until I was about 5 years old, then I was sent to different babysitters, which I hated. I’ve been able to stay at home with my children, but have also tried to find part-time work, or work-from-home situations. It’s incredibly challenging, but I don’t want other people raising my children. I’m glad you’ve been able to work out a good solution for you and your family.

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