It has been over a week since I last posted, which is an unusually long time for me to go without sharing what is happening in my life. We have had a bit of a tough few weeks and I have not been able to decide whether to share the not so pleasant time we have had because sharing with the world makes things more true. On the other hand writing about stuff is hugely therapeutic and sometimes just telling someone makes it easier to deal with. So here goes….
A few weeks ago we found out we were expecting our second baby. Both me and my husband have always wanted 2 kids so we were over the moon. But even though I did 2 tests it just didn’t feel real. Four days later I started bleeding and even though this apparently pretty common, I knew immediately that something was wrong. After a couple of blood tests and a pretty stressful week of waiting, the news was as I expected, we had lost the baby.
Even though I knew that something was wrong I still hoped for good news, and hearing that I was no longer pregnant was heartbreaking. I know it is common, I know it was very early in the pregnancy, I know the chances are that next time all will be fine, but does that help? Not really.
The few people I told were really supportive and I am grateful for that, but it might take a little while to sort my head out. In the mean time I will try and enjoy some beers, unlimited caffeinated drinks, runny eggs and other stuff I have had to avoid over the last few weeks.
All in all, I know these things happen because nature thinks it is for the best, so I’ll quietly say ‘bye baby’ and hope for the best next time around.
- Bye Bye Baby (katrinajoy.com)