Yesterday was my first day back at work after our kind of disastrous holiday. As if losing a baby wasn’t enough, both my husband and I were pretty ill most of the week, not the most lovely family holiday.

But, it was great that we did have the week off because I don’t think I would have managed being at work.

We did have good times as well and we managed to get a couple of things in the house and garden done.

Thursday was probably the nicest day. In the morning we went to a garden centre where Elisabeth and I chose some summer bulbs for in the garden, mainly gladioli and dahlias, and Elisabeth had great fun in the play area.

On the way home we stopped at a farm shop and bought some bread, ham and roast beef. When we were all sitting at the table ready for lunch I asked what she wanted on her sandwich. She pointed at the roast beef and said: ‘Chocolate ham please mummy.’ She does make me laugh.

Later that afternoon she asked me to read her a book. I asked her which book she wanted me to read and she wanted: ‘The one where mummy was a baby!’ which means she wants to look through my photo album from when I was little. I love looking at old photos, but it can also make me quite sad. There are so many photos in that album with wonderful people who are no longer with us. We looked at a photo of my nan who I loved so much and who I miss on a regular basis which ended up in the following conversation:

Me: Sometimes I miss my nanny you know.
Elisabeth: Oh poor mummy.
She cuddles me and seems to think about something for a while.
Elisabeth: I’ll find you a new nanny, mummy.

Isn’t that sweet?