Category Archives: miscarriage

Trouble in Newman Towers

This week has been one of the worst weeks I have had in a long time. The main reason for this were Tuesday’s events which I will post about another time, for now you are just going to have to take my word for it that is was pretty bad.

On top of this I came down with the cold from hell and had to stay home from work. I have been feeling pretty poorly since. Elisabeth has also come down with something and as always when she is not well, has been keeping us up.

Tuesday night I didn’t get to sleep until 3.30am and last night I was up from 3.30 onwards trying to get Elisabeth back to sleep. At 5.30am I gave up and declared it morning.

As normal when things are a bit tough, my husband has been late home every night, I try to be understanding because it is not his fault, given the week I have had, this has been difficult and I think I managed quite well.

This weekend we were meant to go to Germany to visit my dad. Even though I have not been looking forward to the journey there, I was looking forward to seeing his new house and I can really do with getting away from everything.
But as my husband is now also coming down with this awful cold and I still feel truly rotten, it just isn’t going to happen, sorry dad 😦

So not a good week at Newman Towers and even though I know I shouldn’t be wishing my time away, I am pretty glad that today is nearly over, it’s been a long old day, too long.

The good news is that tomorrow is Good Friday so my husband isn’t at work. And even though we will not be doing what we wanted this weekend, we are both off work next week, so things are bound to get better, they’d better!

Happy Easter everyone x

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Bye baby……

It has been over a week since I last posted, which is an unusually long time for me to go without sharing what is happening in my life. We have had a bit of a tough few weeks and I have not been able to decide whether to share the not so pleasant time we have had because sharing with the world makes things more true. On the other hand writing about stuff is hugely therapeutic and sometimes just telling someone makes it easier to deal with. So here goes….

A few weeks ago we found out we were expecting our second baby. Both me and my husband have always wanted 2 kids so we were over the moon. But even though I did 2 tests it just didn’t feel real. Four days later I started bleeding and even though this apparently pretty common, I knew immediately that something was wrong. After a couple of blood tests and a pretty stressful week of waiting, the news was as I expected, we had lost the baby.

Even though I knew that something was wrong I still hoped for good news, and hearing that I was no longer pregnant was heartbreaking. I know it is common, I know it was very early in the pregnancy, I know the chances are that next time all will be fine, but does that help? Not really.

The few people I told were really supportive and I am grateful for that, but it might take a little while to sort my head out. In the mean time I will try and enjoy some beers, unlimited caffeinated drinks, runny eggs and other stuff I have had to avoid over the last few weeks.

All in all, I know these things happen because nature thinks it is for the best, so I’ll quietly say ‘bye baby’ and hope for the best next time around.