Tag Archives: kids say the funniest things

Mummy, my yawn hurts

I love it when kids don’t know what something is called and, rather than ask me, make up a word themselves to describe what they mean. With Elisabeth we never really had this pleasure, she talked very early and never really said anything wrong.

Jacob however, is the absolute master at this. He has always been very good at communicating what he means without necessarily talking or using the correct words. When he last had a cold he said:

“Mummy, my yawn hurts.”

He meant that he had a sore throat, which makes perfect sense because when you have a son throat, and you yawn, it can hurt like hell. Easily worked out. Nice job Jacob.

Now this morning we were getting ready for school, so the school uniform goes on and just before we leave we do socks and shoes. A brand new pair of shoes, which he loves. But just as we are walking out the door I can see that he is limping a little.

“What’s up Jacob? Are your shoes not comfortable?”

“No, they’re hurting my foot wrist.”

“Your foot wrist?” (just checking I heard right)

“Yes, my foot wrist.” (said in a ‘surely you know what a foot wrist is’ kind of tone)

“Do you mean this?” (Me pointing at his ankle)

“Yes, my foot wrist.”

“Ok, that’s your ankle.”

“Yes, my ankle.”

“Ok, when you get to school ask your teacher if you can take off your shoes if it hurts too much.”

(At school talking to his teacher) “My foot wrist hurts.”

Love him!

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Kiddos talk

“Fishin!” is what Jacob shouts when he is finished with his snack, dinner, or whatever else he happens to be doing. This is an improvement to what he did before, which was throwing his hands up in the air and shout: “Silly!” 

He is the complete opposite to his sister when it comes to talking. Elisabeth didn’t really say a word until she could talk in full sentences and she rarely said anything wrong. Jacob however is not too fussed about the correctness of his words, as long as we know what he means he is happy. So we get “fishin”, “bicyscle”,  “stool” (for spoon), “ass cream” (for ice cream), “ups and down”  (for  upside down)  and “mana” for banana. 

And whilst Jacob is trying to get his words right, my darling Elisabeth says things like : “you’re the best mummy in the world, even better than the Queen!” 

Happy Friday everyone! 

Whasaaaaaaaaat?????

Jacob has finally decided to have a real go at this talking thing that we all seem to be doing. After months of just saying “ball”, “wow” and “mama” (which meant fruit, not me!) he is expanding his vocabulary.

After a 10 minute session last Friday where we discussed: “this is a banana” and “this is mama” he finally got it and he now actually calls me mama! Although he also still calls all fruit mama, but hey I can’t have everything.

He has been a very inquisitive little munchkin as well. If I had a penny for every time he points at something and says: “Whasat?” I would not have to go to work. Sometimes it is a bit tiring, most of the time it is cute and every now and then it is just hilarious.

The other day I went to the toilet and he came in with me. He was playing with some water in the sink, perfectly happy. As soon as he heard me do a wee, he turned round to look at me, pointed and shouted from the top of his lungs: “WHASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?”

Love this little man, he is so funny.

Conversations with Elisabeth 8

Me: “What would you like for lunch? A Marmite sandwich?”
Elisabeth: “Yes mummy, that’ll do.”
(Cheeky monkey!)

Elisabeth: “I am so lucky, I get chocolate twice. At Christmas and at Easter!”
(Whilst she eats the smallest piece of chocolate ever)

Elisabeth: “Mummy, can you tell me the story about when I was a baby and we lived in Africa?”
Me: “What? We never lived in Africa.”
Elisabeth: “Yes we did, that is where I was born. Africa is really far away you know.”
Me – speachless

Elisabeth: “Mummy, do you have a sore head?”
Me: “no, I don’t.”
Elisabeth: “Yes you do! It’s there!”
Me: “Oh, that is my forehead sweetheart.”

Me: “Can you eat some of your mashed potato please?”
Elisabeth: “I don’t like mashed potato.”
Me: “Ok, do you like mash?”
Elisabeth: “Yes, I like mash.”
Me: “Right, so you don’t like mashed potato.”
Elisabeth: “No.”
Me: “But you like mash?”
Elisabeth: “Yes.”

Conversations with Elisabeth 7

Elisabeth: (as I sit moving my food around my plate because I don’t fancy it, which happens a lot) “You shouldn’t play with your food mummy!”

Elisabeth: “Daddy, I need some socks.”
Daddy: “Well, get some from your cupboard.”
Elisabeth: “It’s called a wardrobe daddy!”

Elisabeth: “Mummy, do you have a door in your tummy, so the baby can get out?”

Me: “If you eat some more of your mash you can have an apple for pudding.”
Elisabeth: “I’m not keen on mash, or bouncy castles. I’m keen on trampolines and sausages!”

Conversations with Elisabeth 6

Me: “What do you think is in mummy’s tummy Elisabeth?”
Elisabeth: “A baby.”
Me: “I think so too. What do baby’s sleep in?”
Elisabeth:”A cot.”
Me: “Yes, they do. So maybe when the baby is out of mummy’s tummy, we can ask daddy to put your old cot back together and the baby can sleep in there.”
Elisabeth: “Yes, good idea.”

Elisabeth: “Mummy, what are these?”
Me: “They’re boobies.”
Elisabeth: “I don’t have boobies.”
Me: “No, not yet, when you’re bigger you’ll have boobies.”
Elisabeth: “Mummy, where are your real boobies.”
Me: “These are my real boobies!”

Me: “What do you think babies drink Elisabeth?”
Elisabeth: “They drink milk.”
Me: “That’s right. And when they are born they drink milk out of their mummy’s boobies.”
Elisabeth: (looks at me as if I have gone crazy) “No they don’t, they drink out of bottles mummy.”

Elisabeth: “Nanny, daddy has a really big tummy.”
Nanny: “Has he really?”
Elisabeth: “Yes, he has lots of food in his tummy. Mummy has a baby in her tummy.”

Elisabeth: “Mummy, Thomas is Percy’s best friend.” (she is crazy about Thomas the Tank Engine)
Me: “That’s nice, who is your best friend?”
Elisabeth: “You of course mummy!” (the answer to this questions changes on a daily basis, but I’m going with this one!)

Me: (after reading a winnie the pooh book) “Can you bounce like Tigger?”
Elisabeth: “No mummy, because I’m not a bouncing expert.”

Elisabeth: “Can Father Christmas get me a bicycle and a car please? I need a car of my own.”

Elisabeth: (in the car) “Mummy, where is the satnav?”
Me: “I thought you were two and a half?”

Conversations with Elisabeth 4

Elisabeth: “Mummy, I have bogies.”
Me: “Ok, well let’s clean your nose.”
Elisabeth: “Mummy, I eat bogies in bed.”
Me: “Don’t eat bogies in bed, it’s not nice.”
Elisabeth: “I eat bogies in bed.”
Me: …sigh…

Me: “Come here my little dust bunny.”
Elisabeth: “I’m not a dust bunny.”
Me: “Ok, what are you then?”
Elisabeth: “I’m adorable!”

Elisabeth: (looking out the window) “I don’t see any seagulls.”
Me: “Do we like seagulls?”
Elisabeth: “No we don’t!”

Me: “We need to cut your nails Elisabeth.”
Elisabeth: “Daddy, mummy cut my fingers.”
Me: “I cut your nails not your fingers.”
Elisabeth: “Mummy cut my fingers.”
Me: …sigh…

Conversations with Elisabeth 3

Elisabeth: “Where are my nipples mummy?”
Me:”Excuse me?”
Elisabeth:”Where are my nipples mummy?”
If I find out who is to blame for this they will be in serious trouble 🙂

This Tuesday Elisabeth didn’t really want to go to the child minder, she was tired and wanted to stay home with mummy or daddy. But when we got there she was fine, because she loves it at Jenny’s. When I opened the door to get her out of her car seat she said (completely unprompted might I add)
“I ove you mummy.”
Now that’s a good start of the day!

Elisabeth: “Dora’s got a big cock!”
Ha ha, she still struggles to say the ‘L’.

Even though Elisabeth can say the word ‘Help’ perfectly, every now and then when she wants me to do something, she will run around shouting: Hel, hel, hel, hel!

Elisabeth: “Daddy wants orange.”
Daddy: “I am going to have some cola Elisabeth.”
Elisabeth: “Daddy wants orange!”
Me: “Daddy is having a different drink Elisabeth.”
Elisabeth: “Daddy wants orange!!”
Bored of waiting until daddy has the drink she thinks he should have, she stomps over to the fridge, pulls it open, takes out the bottle of orange squash, drags it to the table and puts it in front of her daddy.
Elisabeth: “Daddy wants orange!!!”
No how can you refuse that. So, daddy had orange.

Conversations with Elisabeth 2

Me: ‘What did you have for dinner at Jenny’s today?’
Elisabeth: ‘Mash and beans and fish fingers.’ –
Me: ‘Really?’ – She actually had spaghetti 🙂

Me: ‘You’ve grown so big!’
Elisabeth: ‘I’m not big, daddy is big.’

Elisabeth: ‘Daddy is a boy and mummy is a lady.’
Me: ‘That’s right, daddy is a man and mummy is a lady.’
Elisabeth: ‘No, daddy is a boy, daddy is not a man.’

Conversations with Elisabeth (at 23 months and 2 weeks)

Me: Mummy loves you Elisabeth.
Elisabeth: What’s that mummy?
Me: That’s a car. Do you love your mummy?
Elisabeth: me love my daddy.

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Me: Good morning Elisabeth.
Elisabeth: Mummy!
Me: Hello sweetheart.
Elisabeth: Mummy wear pretty dress.

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Me: Let’s get you nice and dry.
Elisabeth: Me need wash my hands.
Me: That’s ok, you’ve just had a bath.
Elisabeth: Me need wash my hands!
Me: You’ve just had a bath, so you don’t have to wash your hands.
Elisabeth: Me need wash my hands!! In the sink! …. Oooooo, what’s that mummy?

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Daddy: Hi Elisabeth, are you ok?
Elisabeth: Yeah, daddy had nice day at work?

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Elisabeth: That’s my dolly!
Me: Yes, it is.
Elisabeth: she has pretty hair.
Me: You have pretty hair.
Elisabeth: Mummy has pretty hair too.

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Me: Do you love your mummy Elisabeth?
Elisabeth: Yeah, me love my daddy.

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